Current Mood: Rejuvenated & Relaxed & Sleepy

Its been a little far too long isn’t it? My apologies.

Even how all these recent round of incredible fuck-up on me seemed wretching. It is actually not that woeful. Okay, so i was brutally shackled with frustrations, abusive post bombarded. But those are understandable …

As you see, emotions are not supposed to be logical… one shall considered dangerous if a man trying to put rationalism into our emotions. I am sorry, but double-crossing is just not my favor, seriously… I don’t give a damn.

Every time when i was on a low tide, my collective fears and pains would stimulate the instinct of new things… things i would call “Advanced General Knowledges”. And it is good … I live a better man.

In everyone of us here, some part of you remains solitude. While at this moment, under my placid exterior … it is only that my solitude ray has been emanating in a longer wave lengths. So if my fellow readers somehow are in such position, do not worry … albeit love might be the poverty of self (which is good), in deep solitude you find gentleness… and it is the richness of self (which the latter serves nothing but the same)

If you would have asked me if i am okay? Well… i might have throw a tack vague answer at you. YES and NO… Its just like those farts in the bathtub, you can still smell the shits somewhere around those corners, tickling your nasal cavity once in a while.

This new banner of splashmilk.com here is the 8th one so far, and its there to serve a reminder. “Why crying over split milk?”

Splash it away, sucka.

Current Mood: Relaxed

Tomorrow night is yet another new beginning. Stay tuned!

Current Mood: Frustrated & Gloomy

Dear YOU,

Everything seems hallucinatory… diffused doubled visions. When i slowly opened my eyes, it was only 4 o’clock in the morning, 2 hours after my first attempt to sleep, but the recent rounds fuck-up have caught insomnia hissing at the back of my ear… leaving me mental. My whole nervous system has been electrocuted, given the mere recalibration. Everything around me appears to have an exaggerated effect.

The ticking of my alarm clock besides me, every seconds bits of its movement twitches my brain. Weakly, i flung it straight at the wall… it crashes in the darkness of sombre.

I lie still on one side and concentrate eventually, i can detect the shape and position of all my entire internal organ apparently. The weak and wet lungs bellowing there, the yellow-grey liver slumped against my backbone, the purple kidneys engorged and bruised, the intestines… groaning hot inside.

Suddenly i felt like I’m a walking zombie. As i move my head scarcely, the rustling of my hair against the pillow sounded massively amplified too. I have the epoxysm of shooting myself.

I reminisce… that one thing that bothers me. What happened? And there it is … the supressed memory. FUCKED UP … bubbling up like a fart in a bathtub. FUCKED UP… you … Suddenly revoking my memory, like a rewinding of the cassette. The remnants of my drowsiness disappeared vividly.

I hate i have to let you go that easily… Because I actually hate you so much now, i should have crack your head loudly at the window frame. I should have give you a spinning round once, twice and ho… sending you down face-first onto the floor with my knuckles… blood in abundance, drying up along times.

I hate you… and i hate myself not getting up viciously, titled my head slightly downward and clenched my teeth, that i frowned because frowning helps me focus my energy, and of course, drawing your attention at the forehead. Then… Aim, and fire! Lunging forward and strike you with my full body weight. An hateful sneeze…

AT-CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW!

Head-butting you, bringing your mortified mother-fucking face… turning blue.

Even all those above shall leave me feeling the spasm of fleeting but intense sensation streaming inside, with the satisfactonary taste of vengeance. Yet… I JUST LET YOU GO… just like that, safe and sound… no cracks and jacks.

I watched you walk away… straining myself to low tide with collective autophobias and pains. I remain solitude right on the spot, stripped down to the core of me, bleeding.

I don’t even know how life would be without you anymore, I don’t even know how to dispense this unflinching heart-stabbing emotions. And here I’m… feeling the pain viscerally… This is the last of me that u shall see me in before i go rehab.

I LOVE YOU
I HATE YOU MORE NOW…

While you’re smilling away with your new love. Sweet dreams… My C*BAI EX.

Regards,
splashmilk.